Happy 4th. I hate fireworks. They’re dangerous, noisy, polluting, and everyone’s already seen them. Sorry. If that makes me a “humbug,” so be it. Why is it OK to scare everyone’s dog, keep their kids awake, and contaminate our air and water as a sign of… not wanting to be British anymore? Tonight, Portland stinks like an industrial accident. Freedom emissions, let’s say.
How about I come to your house and bang on your doors and windows every, I don’t know, November 7th? Because I love America. Oh, and I’ll pour motor oil on your lawn because King George III was a jerk. That’ll show him. HEY! WAKE UP! AMERICA IS NO LONGER A BRITISH COLONY! BANG BANG BANG!!!
In California, they manage to completely blanket the beach in noxious smoke because they love America so much. Of course, all these fireworks that we have no problem lighting off in our collective air are made in Chinese factories– those bastions of ecological care and chemical responsibility. You know that beautiful green explosion you just saw over your river? That’s barium (both radioactive and toxic)! Neat!
The whole thing is just obnoxious and meaningless. Most people light off fireworks because they have mullets and like to blow stuff up. It has nothing to do with America or anything else for that matter. Whattdya say we keep the 4th of July? We keep outdoor concerts. We keep bbqs and beer. We can even keep the jingoistic military bands and assertions that the almighty likes us better than everyone else.
Can we lose the explosives? I know 5-year-olds like them. They also like wrapping the cat in a blanket and eating boogers. That doesn’t really make those things OK, either.
agreed. totally. what an awful night. had to tie one dog to the bedpost, lock another in a closet in the basement, contend with anxious 3 year old, as well as with totally exhausted older kids who insisted on staying up late to watch the darn things. yuck. next year I’m getting tranquilizers for everyone.
I wrote my blog this morning and then did my usual cruise through the blogs I like to read. You said it better than me. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
I could have just said, “What he said….”
Thank you. I was a bit ostracized in my own home on this topic last night.
Calling “Humbug” is the last refuge of the scoundrel, IMHO. It’s like saying someone’s not patriotic if they disagree with your pre-emptive invasion of a sovereign nation. For example.
Anyway, at least I’ve got it better than Wendy. Being at any lake is the worst on the 4th. The idiots travel from long distances to mix their alcoholic dysfunction with incendiaries, boats, and “whoo!”. And they keep at it all weekend.
I happened to turn on the Washington DC fireworks show last night. What the hell? The “grand finale” was just an unbridled dumping of explosives into the air. You couldn’t even see them anymore. Why not just pump gas onto the street to demonstrate our prosperity?
Did anyone measure the air quality after that? And is Jimmy Smits the Celine Dion of actors? Or is that just me?
Two years ago, we stopped some kids from lighting more fireworks on top of Corona Heights, by the Randall Museum here in SF. Talk about stupid: the whole hill was covered with super-dry grasses and brush, and the kids were lighting them next to the path, which was the only way down! We would all have been trapped up there.
Just had to comment. Well, didn’t have to, but your post just hit a nerve.
I totally, unabashedly agree with your rant. Since we live in the dry desert mountains of New Mexico, fireworks or not only noisy and cause pollution but they are serious fire threat.
Also because most of us out here raise animals, especially animals that are fearful prey animals, such as sheep, goats and horses, fireworks are not only stressful, but also dangerous.
Thankfully, only a few idiots eject fireworks into the sky around here, and they’re usually over by 9pm.
But I am so in agreement with you. We lost a dog, albeit temporarily many years ago because of fireworks. She jumped the fence before we got home in time. Yep, the idiots started shooting off even before nightfall.
Our dog was found by some jerks, who removed her collar and tried to keep her.
But 2 weeks later, my hubby saw our dog in the back of someone’s SUV and got them to stop.
As soon as he yelled, “Hey! That’s MY dog”, they tossed out our dog and took off.
Yep, we sure don’t love fireworks around here.