I’m a little fat… you know… fat-ish-y… not grotesquely disfigured or anything… to my eye, anyway. Just… lumpier than is optimal. Doughy, if you will. This, I think, is a direct result of my keen interest in food– more specifically, the baking and eating thereof.
So, I’m logging my intake in some new software, but I’m finding that my diet makes that a little difficult. Firstly, I graze constantly. When I’m outside, I’m always picking something off a bush or snapping off a floret of this, a pod of that. Am I supposed to run in and type “peas: 8″, “raspberries: 3″, “carrot: 1″?
That’s not even so bad, though this is supposed to be for tracking my nutrition, too. In fact, on the first day, the first “dietary hint” I got was “eat less vitamin C.” YOU EAT LESS VITAMIN C, STUPID SOFTWARE!!!
Anyway, then there’s our “main” meals. We make practically everything from scratch. Apparently the world now buys all its food in handy, pre-weighed, labeled containers or from fast food places. God forbid you just make what you have around. This morning, for instance, I had a couple comically small chicken eggs scrambled in olive oil with about that much flowered broccoli, about like this of onion, half a leftover tomato, and I think some other stuff. I think I entered “Eggs Grade A Small: 2″.
Now, had I eaten an Egg McMuffin, I could have precisely entered that. “Egg McMuffin: 1 Unit”.
Last night I made, for my son’s FIFTH birthday (which makes me 102 in Internet years), homemade pasta (whatever semolina we had left, some AP flour, coupla eggs, a glug of olive oil and water) with red sauce (JARRED! YES!) that’d been doctored (DANG!) with some sausage and stuff. We also had a head of broccoli, steamed and then dipped in soyannaise (the homemade kind: about that much mayo mixed with some odd soy sauce– to die for, by the way). I entered “pasta: 1 cup” and “brocolli: 1 cup”.
Not only would I think that fresh homemade pasta from top-shelf ingredients isn’t anything like the dried stuff out of a box nutritionally (they sure taste nothing alike), did I eat a cup? Half? More likely, three.
Anyway, I’m going to do my best, and continue to at least use this to track my blood pressure, beer consumption, and general snacking habits. I think, as I like to tell my consulting clients, “this is a directional rather than quantitative metric.” Yes, I talk like that at work. I’m sorry.
OK, other news. Maggie’s pumped out her third egg (we think it was her, anyway). The others have all decided that the come hither thing looks pretty good, so they like to get under foot and drop down to let me have my way with them. It’s kinda pathetic. And there I am hunkered down, petting chickens, saying “oh baby, yeah, that’s a sexy chicken…” I suppose I don’t have to do that.
And finally, it’s way berry season here. The strawbs are coming so fast and furious that we can’t possibly keep up. There’s a lot of jam on the ground out there. The raspberries are just starting to crank up, and we’ve already eaten a few blueberries. Interestingly, the vertically trained grape has relatively big grapes on it, and the horizontal one seems to have dropped its fruit mostly. Hmmm…
That’s all.
OK, fine. Here:
Stop looking at his fat little butt and check out those snazzy shoes. He insisted on going out to play with only his brother’s giant shoes on. Kinda looks like a baby 1970s streaker.
EDIT: As I was replying to farmgirl_dk’s comment, I remembered hearing some bokking earlier. So, I went out to check. It seems that Shirley has cut in line in front of Dottie for production. How do I know it was Shirley?
Because the comically small egg on the lower right is hers. The other one’s one of our last (we hope) store bought eggs– since I ate the others for breakfast. Shirley’s the only Ameraucana. Wondered why she was all worked up yesterday. Well, you wouldn’t have guessed from looking at her. She looks like the youngest of the bunch.
20 responses so far ↓
1 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 8, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Ok, at the top of my list of comments: your wee sad little boy is very, very cute. He looks like he’s got a really good life over there with you, so I won’t expect him at my place any time soon
Second, it’s good to track what you eat but you’re making it way difficult on yourself to use a stoopid computer program that doesn’t have many clients eating the way you eat. Just jot down every day what you eat, how much it is and what time of day. Like you said, it’s going to give you a very clear picture of your grazing (aka overeating) habits and will assist in identifying for you your trouble areas…food and time of day. Do this for a week and assess. Make healthier choices, choose smaller portions, drink water instead of that third, fourth, fifth beer….(um, I’m not giving away the fact that I was a personal trainer before I became a farm girl, am I? ;-). *was* is the key word there.)
I can’t believe you’ve got ripe blueberries! I’ve got about a bazillion berries on all my bushes (early, mid, late blooming varieties) and not a one is near edible. We’ve got the raspberries coming on strong, though. And the shelling peas are in abundance…bucketfuls!
I got my third egg this morning, too! May very well have been from somebody other than Spongebob, but I can’t be certain.
We haven’t eaten a single one yet. Not sure what I’m waiting for. Still trying to overcome that mildly grossed out feeling I’m experiencing, I guess.
2 Rian // Jul 8, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Yeah, Princess, the software’s kind of an experiment. I can’t seem to work a pencil anymore. Many people claim that the “easy” way is to “just write stuff down”. Not me. I don’t know how to start… just write anywhere? Should I make a table? Date? No date. Dear Diary… no, that’s stupid… oh, great, this page is ruined now… rip…
Pretty soon, I’ll have made 1.5 entries (the pen stopped working), lost the notebook, and will console myself with a pint of Americone Dream.
Better for me to even use something like Excel. Still this particular software also has slots to track blood pressure, heart rate, exercise, etc. Just that’s worth something to me. The caloric/nutrition calculations are the part I’m having a little trouble making work.
I don’t know where you are exactly, but I’m sorta surprised that our stuff ripens at such different times. I must be a little warmer here, eh?
D’oh! Check out the edit I just made to the post…
3 Gale Frances // Jul 8, 2008 at 8:12 pm
The kid in the big shoes ought to be in the movies. Such a adorable tush! And green eggs! Fabulous! You have clearly overcome your dysfunctional quasi-feminist family history to have such an interesting life and such delightful children. They say”what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” Don’t you think these birds too, have a right to raise an occasional offspring instead of you eating all their efforts? Soon you could have a whole micro universe of clucking and scratching. Can you tell the sex before you crack the eggs and terminate their ovular future? Can’t have anybody crowing inappropriately. Don’t raise rabbits, I’m still scarred by WWII and the meat rationing. Love, The Errant Artist
4 Rian // Jul 8, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Now, Mom, given your Steinbeckian upbringing, you know that I’d need to have a rooster around to be makin’ any chicks, right? Otherwise, these eggs are just a useful menstrual by-product.
Yeah, raising rabbits makes me think of that movie Roger and Me where the woman slaughters and skins the bunny tacked to a tree. No, thank you. Though, the guy that taught the chicken course that I took thought they were the bee’s knees for home livestock.
5 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Ha!!! You two are FUNNY!
Dammit on the 4th egg. You’re ahead of me again.
p.s. I harvested some blueberries today…something about 90 degrees does a berry good.
6 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Oh, and by the way, NO editing posts once they’re posted. It’s against the rules. Check the BRB (blog rule book).
7 Rian // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Oh, we’re “funny” all right.
I’ve often wondered about the post-post edit. It’s a violation, eh? Gimme props for at least marking it as such and pointing it out?
8 Daniel // Jul 9, 2008 at 7:25 am
“Useful menstrual byproduct”?
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
9 Rian // Jul 9, 2008 at 2:23 pm
You are welcome, Daniel.
If it makes you feel better, wifey has pointed out to me that chickens do not, in fact, menstruate.
It is, technically, the regular expulsion of unfertilized ovum from the bird’s cloaca.
There ya go. Back to tasty-sounding.
10 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 10, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Hey! I got my 5th regular expulsion of (possibly fertilized) ovum from Princess’ cloaca!!
Wheeeeeeeeee!!!
11 Rian // Jul 10, 2008 at 2:18 pm
A) I thought *you* were Princess?
II) We just got #7 today. Not that it’s a contest, but that is TWO more than you. Booyah!
12 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 10, 2008 at 2:56 pm
How funny is that…I like to be called Princess and I have a chicken named “Princess”. Coincidence?
I just now got egg #6. I’ve now got a Buff Orp, a Black Sex Link, and a Barred Rock laying. They’re SOOOOO cute!
I’m may be an egg behind you, but you cheated by starting at least a day earlier. Just wait. I will soon take the lead and thou shalt never catcheth up.
13 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:12 am
#7 in hand.
14 Rian // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:47 am
Oh, we ARE competitive, AREN’T we?
How many girls you got? Have you weighed any of the eggs? All of mine are around 34 grams.
All EIGHT of them.
Bam!
15 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:21 pm
jerk.
But, in answer to your question, I’ve got 10 gals.
And, I got egg #8 today, too, but it was an oddity…a rubbery shell that didn’t hold its insides very well. A rather embarrassing affair and one that none of the girls claimed to have done.
34 grams, huh? Nerd.
16 Rian // Jul 11, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Hey, now.
Well, there ya go. I’ve got four. You’ll surely pullet(h) ahead and thou shalt reign victorious forever and ever, amen.
Yeah, someone else said that– “only you would weigh and log each egg”. Screw you people. This is important. If God didn’t want us to weigh and log our eggs, She wouldn’t have invented digital kitchen scales and the spreadsheet. Amen. Again.
I’m glad I haven’t had any freakish “screwed up trip through the transporter”/”the fly” type eggs. That’s not going to help the slightly grossed out thing.
I tell you what, these things make delicious, albeit scaled down, scrambles.
17 Farmgirl_dk // Jul 12, 2008 at 2:52 pm
There ya go with those spreadsheets again. How’s that logging-everything-you-eat program thing going, by the way?
No eggs today so far over here. It’s too hot.
And my rooster has been wounded and is bleeding from the head. Don’t think those two things are related in any way, but I thought it important to mention.
I do think I’ve managed to adopt a donkey out today, though. Exciting times.
18 Rian // Jul 12, 2008 at 2:56 pm
That’s funny… we’ve had three just today. We’re at 11 total now. This last one was Ethel, the Australorp. Apparently, it wasn’t easy to get outta there, it’s REAL long and skinny. OK, this is getting ridiculous… gotta do another post.
19 Em // Jul 12, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Ok, I am officially jealous! Check out my chicken saga… http://www.wfchickens.blogspot.com. I really want some chickens too!!!
20 Farmer Jen // Jul 12, 2008 at 5:36 pm
I love that line, “this is a directional rather than quantitative metric.”
I can tell you are good friends with Farmgirl DK. She is wonderful! I really enjoy reading her blog, and now I have found yours to enjoy too.
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